Sugar Rush


by Dawson Wohler
Helmet

Impromptu fashion show at the test track today. Crash helmets pair well with skin tight pastel pink spandex. You opt for something a little less coy. Dominatrix black leather instead.

The Steer 3000 gleams in the salt flat sun. All muscular chrome and steel. The brutal little ornament on the hood completes the image: a charging bull.

A confused tangle of crosses, dream catchers, and rosary beads hangs pendant from the rearview mirror. Ave Maria and Objects are closer than they appear. You can never be too sure.

Foot to pedal and pedal to floor. The sacred incantation of every hotrodder and speedfiend that has ever lived. And you.

Speed: the great deformer. Eighteen pistons stretching and pulling reality like taffy, making a candy colored mockery of proportion and perspective. Ford was a confectionist.

             at Mach 1: You are a melody; singing across the desert, you are both seen and heard simultaneously.

               accelerate

                               accelerate

                                                accelerate

            at Mach 2: All points become linear; the true horizontality of all existence is made manifestly clear to you.

               accelerate

                               accelerate

                                                accelerate

             at Mach 3: Absolute effacement; the sublime ecstasy of being killed by the one you love. The steering wheel is a thousand miles away.

               accelerate

                               accelerate

                                                accelerate

You don’t see the deer until it is coming through the windscreen in a living explosion of hooves, antlers, and fur. Do deer live in the desert?

Try wrenching the wheel hard to the left and slamming on the brakes, as if you could somehow avert the catastrophe after it has already come crashing into the front seat.

Too late. When they pull you from the wreckage the only thing they can recognize is your teeth. Back to the cooling board.


You can follow Dawson Wohler on Twitter at @dawtismspeaks.